Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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