I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
