he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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