Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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