3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
