And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
