omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
