piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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