Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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