I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
