Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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