my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
