I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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