No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
