after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
