So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
