If i come over, it means nothing
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
