She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You're like the curious george of whores
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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