the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
