I didn't shave. On purpose
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
