i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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