TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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