why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
