Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
