if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
