tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
