im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
