But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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