We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
