i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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