i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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