If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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