Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
