So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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