I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
