I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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