I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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