I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
