When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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