i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
