It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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