ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
