Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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