well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
two words...techno handjob
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
