He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
