I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
