New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
