That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
