i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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