I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so that wasnt chicken after all
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
